Are you in the “squeezed middle”?
Back in the day, Ed Miliband used this phrase to refer to the middle classes.
These days it makes me think of mid-life.
And I’m not just talking about putting on a pair of trousers that are too tight.
It’s that time of life when you’re juggling work, young children and elderly, dying or deceased parents.
It feels like all of life comes all at once.
You’re trying to keep your career vaguely on the rails. Trying to keep going even when you’re utterly sleep-deprived. Trying to deliver an excellent, responsive client service (while ending up doing your own family’s online food shop at 11pm at night).
You’re trying to remember to bake (or, if you’re anything like me, buy at the last minute) cakes for the school bake sale. To help your kids with their reading, their geography homework. To support them when they fall out with their mates.
You’re looking after a little one when they’re sick. Racing to hospital, full of anxiety at times.
Having to cope with that feeling of letting clients down once in a while.
You’re looking after an increasingly elderly parent, helping them to navigate this rapidly more digitalised and bewildering world. You’re taking them to the doctor, to their hospital appointments. You’re helping them pay their bills.
You’re grieving a parent. You’re sorting out their affairs whilst wading through your sadness. You’re arranging a funeral – wanting to do them justice and honour them in the best way. You’re supporting your remaining, increasing vulnerable and bereaved parent.
Phew. Anyone feel exhausted yet?
At The Carvalho Consultancy we understand what you’re facing. In fact, we are right there with you. We’re in the thick of this stage of life ourselves.
So we get it.
We’re not just going to tell you to practice ‘self-care’. As if that’s a magic wand 🪄 (as many seem to claim these days).
In fact, I think that taking such an approach is just one short leap away from toxic positivity. The fact is that life is incredibly full on when you’re in the squeezed middle.
There is no magic solution.
It’s lovely and scary and poignant and overwhelming all at the same time.
We know that. We won’t sugarcoat it. We won’t tell you to go and get your nails done. As if that will solve everything.
What will we do?
Sometimes it’s as simple as saying “Yeah. I hear you. That sounds so sh*t.”
We’ll give you all the space you need to talk about it, to explore it.
Yes, we may talk about techniques that might help. Things you’ve tried that have helped. Things that we’ve tried ourselves that have helped
But we won’t ram advice down your throat.
And we won’t patronise you by pretending there are easy solutions.
Because we get it.
NB And, as if to demonstrate, here is a photo from the weekend of my husband Adam Carvalho TEP having a lovely, relaxed time with our three very quiet, calm children.