Are you on a come down?
Mental Health Awareness Week for people like me is a bit like October for pumpkin sellers.
The irony is that your own mental health can go a bit “schoo wiff” as you race around from event to event banging on about boundaries while desperately trying to maintain your own.
And it’s not when you’re in the thick of it that you struggle.
It’s when you’re coming down…
For everyone I work with in therapy, it’s that time when we struggle mentally. When we watch our self-esteem wither away and slide under the carpet, a ghostly spectre of what it used to be.
“Just last week, I was screaming I was too busy…now I can’t even send a simple email!” we rage.
The issue is our internal barometer of “normal” busyness has gone wonky. We’ve stretched ourselves beyond all recognition and we can’t snap back into shape. A bit like old knicker elastic.
It’s the mental equivalent of when you’ve been driving on the motorway and you come off onto the slip road and suddenly feel like you’re driving at 5mph when actually you’re not, you’re driving at 40.
So what can we do? 3 thoughts!
1. Remember the bends – those brave divers amongst you know that you have to be careful not to come back up too quickly otherwise you’ll get the bends. This is why it’s not a good idea to go straight from a massively busy period straight to a holiday (if you can help it). If you do, you’ll find yourself bouncing around like an overly-caffeinated space hopper, scanning your phone for updates on JLo and Ben’s marriage (is it just me?), while your family watch with bemusement.
2. Make things small – break your time down into small, management chunks. Your attention is likely to be shot to sh*t at this point so it’s imperative you don’t expect too much of yourself. But you also need to keep finding a sense of achievement in things. So break tasks down into infinitesimal parts. Take a more holistic view of what ‘work’ is during these periods. Stick all of the cr*p (both work and home admin) that you’ve been avoiding at the top of the to-do list. Reward yourself when you’ve ticked something off. I like to do so by having a chocolate biscuit and bouncing on my kids’ trampoline (see “over-caffeinated space hopper” above).
3. Get your expectations down – the problem is the chargeable time system has created an idea that we should be firing on all cylinders all yr round. What a load of beeswax. No, these quieter times are like the period between Xmas & New Year when you mooch around the house in slippers watching Love Actually with the top button of your jeans undone. If you expect that you’re going to be as nimble and productive as you usually are, you’ll end up fighting with your own brain. And probably doing even less. So, keep your expectations (& your to do lists) moderate. And reflect at the end of each day on what you HAVE managed to achieve.
PS It’s peeing down so no one is going on the trampoline today ⬇