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Developing resilience and why it’s not about becoming a ‘hard-a**’

“How can I learn to become more resilient?”

Clients often ask this in their first therapy session. They tell me that they find it hard to cope with setbacks and they set ‘achieving’ resilience as their ‘goal’ for therapy. It’s one of those buzz words like mindfulness that has been floating around for the past few years and many organisations and businesses have also cottoned on to this trend, offering training on how their staff can become more resilient.

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Are you split? #Metoo

Last week I had the pleasure of seeing Jeanette Winterson speak on the subject of feminism and the #metoo movement. This became a broader discussion about the fact that we seem to be living in a more split and divided world than ever before with, as Winterson put it, opposing forces of light and darkness struggling against each other.

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Are we building bridges or are we building walls?

I had an extraordinary experience at a conference last week, witnessing a presentation that was moving, desperately sad and hopeful in equal measure.

The speakers were Jo Berry and Patrick Magee. Jo’s father, Sir Anthony Berry was a Conservative MP who was killed in the Brighton bombing in 1984. Jo’s fellow presenter was Patrick Magee, the IRA member who planted the bomb. They spoke to us on the 34th anniversary of the bombing.

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Lawyers! Are your clocks making you ill?

Mindfulness is the buzz-word of recent years with everyone desperately trying to remain ‘in the present moment’. But how does that fit with the ticking clocks on the computer screen that dominate many lawyers’ lives? They’re an ever-present reminder of how long you’ve been working on each job and of the passage of time. Usually sat alongside a graph of progress against the dreaded ‘billing target’; the two together are a constant reminder to strive to record ‘enough’ hours and bill the clients ‘enough’ money.

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It’s not just the clients that split

When I tell people that I was a divorce lawyer for a long time, reactions tend to be either “oooh wasn’t that depressing?” or “how fascinating”. TV programmes like ‘The Split’ have highlighted this curious job in which, for a relatively short time, you become a huge part of someone’s world at a moment when it is, at best, topsy turvy and unsettling and, at worst full of heartache and stress.

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‘In The Club…’ Or Not

There’s a reason why they call being pregnant ‘in the club’ and, for those who struggle to conceive, it can feel like being denied access to a club that everyone around you seems to be joining with ease.

IVF is now in its 40th year and continues to help thousands of people to join that ‘club’ but cuts in NHS funding mean that, devastatingly, many won’t.

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When the weekend’s not so wonderful…

Looking forward to the weekend?

For many people the weekend is a chance to unwind and shake off the stress of the week. But for those struggling with addiction, weekends are often the hardest time with the euphoric recall of the ‘good times’ with the substance/relationship they’re trying to recover from. Here are 5 tips for those trying to get through this weekend.

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