Anyone who knows me knows that I hate cliched sayings about well-being.

Yes, they’re well-intentioned. But they can also have a demoralising effect.

Because there are times in life (many) when there is no option but to operate with your “petrol tank” at almost empty. Or when you’re even running on fumes.

In fact, whether it’s right or wrong, that’s often the case for the lawyer clients I work with in therapy. Because we’re often taught, particularly in those early stages of our careers, to go beyond what we think our bodies and brains are capable of.

We learn that we can produce pretty decent work at 10pm, midnight, 2am.

We achieve things we never thought we could.

Is it ‘right’ that we should have to push ourselves beyond our limits on a regular basis? Probably not.

But is it a necessity in life on occasion?


And so it was for me last weekend in a different context when one of our twinions had an asthma attack resulting in hospital treatment and a fair bit of medical attention this week. And having to wake him up every 4 hours through the night to give him his inhaler.

Did I say to the doctors at the hospital “hang on a sec, doc, I’ve only had 90 minutes sleep tonight, let me just put my own ‘oxygen mask’ on and practice some ‘self care’ by getting some shut eye and a shower before before you tell me about the treatment plan for my son”?

Of course I bloody didn’t. You suck it up and get on with it because you know that unfortunately you can’t always get your own needs met.

Having been on this planet a few years now, I now know that, once the immediate crisis is over, I then need to be careful as my head will get wonky a few days later.

So I’m a lucky sausage that I’ve been able to rebalance with a trip to Cardiff for a training course and some time in the gym and pool.

To think I used to view exercise as a chore!

These days, it’s a luxury.

Finding balance isn’t possible every day. And many people don’t have the option of gym memberships, hotel stays and training days.

So let’s ditch the silly sayings. And get honest about the realities of life.

Which sayings do your head in?

Find out more about our team of therapists for lawyers and professionals at The Carvalho Consultancy and book an appointment on our therapy bookings page.

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