What are your biggest fears?

One of mine is make-up/perfume ladies in department stores*

(*Stick with me on this – all will become clear)

They either come at you with their fragrances …

Or I feel they’re silently judging my make up free face as I sprint past them in my ten minutes of child-free time looking like a wrung out old dish rag.

One of the reasons I’m scared of them is because on the odd occasion, I have had one of those ‘free’ makeovers they do, they’ve given me a list as long as your arm of products I ‘simply must’ buy. This leaves me wondering how on earth people afford to buy ten different kinds of concealer, tinted moisturiser, primer, highlighter, blusher etc etc ad infinitum.

Where am I going with this?

Well, I think this tells us something important about practising law and particularly those more emotive areas like family and private client law.

And specifically the (very healthy and important) movement to involve additional professionals in the process. In particular family consultants, psychotherapists and counsellors.

As I say, this is a great thing.

And yet, there’s a problem, isn’t there?

– Limited take up

– Resistance to incur additional costs by involving more professionals

– Clients continuing to use their lawyers as a source of therapeutic support despite said lawyers continually reminding them they’re not qualified to do so

I think a lot of this is because people get attached to the security of their lawyer (traditionally the one who has been there for them from the start). They’re stressed & upset and they don’t want to go elsewhere for additional support.

I can relate – when I’m upset, I don’t want to deal with several people. I want one trusted person to help.

So I come back to my make up metaphor.

Yes, we need therapists & others to be involved.

But why can’t family, private client and other lawyers be trained in psychotherapeutic skills?

Lots of them want to be!

It’s fascinating, it adds meaning to the work.

And it reduces burnout (because, to name just one benefit, you learn how to work with resistance more effectively so you don’t feel like you’re banging your head against a brick wall all the time anymore).

And wouldn’t it be better for clients, not to get rid of therapists and consultants entirely from the process, but for their family lawyers to be more psychologically informed?

A bit like my blusher, highlighter and lipstick all in one (thank you, Bobbi Brown) in the picture on the left below.

Rather than the pile of make up in the picture on the right.

What do you think? If you think lawyers should have a better understanding of psychology and you like the stuff I say about family law, please vote for me for your Family Law Champion at the LexisNexis UK Family Law Awards – I’d really appreciate your vote. Voting closes this Thursday – https://lnkd.in/eXPNke7m (you don’t have to be a family lawyer to vote!)

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