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Our podcast is called Staying Sane in Law with Annmarie Carvalho, the lawyers' therapist. Each episode, Annmarie meets a leader in the legal profession and the therapists who work with them, to talk about balancing high-pressure careers with the ups and downs of everyday life.  

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2 min read

Embracing Life's Mess: Celebrating Imperfection and Gratitude

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In this article

Life is messy

Today we celebrated our littlest Carvalho’s 2nd birthday!

It poured down with rain all day. It was chaotic. There were 25 or so feral kids running around the house. The house was crammed. I couldn’t use any of the garden games I’d planned.

And yet it was fabulous.

One partygoer even called me ‘serene’ (not a word traditionally associated with me)

Having said that, I’m definitely a little easier with mess these days.

A little less concerned about presenting a manicured front to the world (and it’s a good job with three boisterous kids and a very loud pug).

I try to live this message in every area of my life. This is why I talk about some of my own difficulties in my presentations and training sessions. Not cos I’m a massive narcissist (or am I? ). But because I think it’s the most powerful way to demonstrate understanding of the ups and downs of life and work. And to show camaraderie with your audience.

I don’t think it results in people losing faith in you if you talk about your flaws. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I also get more and more understanding as I get older about how essential it is to grab with both hands those happy moments like today. There is always sad, difficult stuff hanging around in the background. And families and friendships can be complicated (no sh*t, Sherlock). And yet I’ve got much better at focusing on and being grateful for the brilliant bits. I just can’t let the hard stuff overshadow them anymore - call it a healthy form of ruthlessness…

And I’m so grateful for our little miracle girl. Here she is with our pug (actually called Sherlock). Yesterday, when the sun did shine. Not sure who won the game of noughts and crosses though.

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