If we want to retain experienced women in law and other demanding professions, we cannot afford to treat menopause as a private inconvenience to be managed alone.
Menopause, Professional Identity, and the Cost of Silence
Once, not so long ago, this is a topic I would not have felt comfortable writing about.
I am a consultant at TCC, providing therapeutic support to lawyers and other professionals. I am also a menopausal woman. And increasingly, I see how closely those two worlds intersect.
Over recent years, in conversations with female clients in their 40s and 50s, certain themes recur: fatigue that no amount of discipline seems to fix. A creeping loss of confidence. Anxiety that feels unfamiliar. Moments of “brain fog” during complex discussions. Sleepless nights before important hearings or meetings. We are taught to expect the hot flushes but rarely prepared for the cognitive and emotional impact of menopause.
A common response from women, when the conversation turns to the topic of menopause or perimenopause is either to lighten the load with humour, or to speak in hushed tones.
The Culture We Inherited
My background is in the legal profession, having been a family law solicitor for over 30 years. And in professions like law, resilience is prized. Composure is expected. The culture has long rewarded those who endure pressure without visible strain. You prepare thoroughly. You stay rational. You “cope”.
The recent campaign by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, No More Stiff Upper Lip, feels timely in this context. Their polling highlighted the scale of midlife mental health challenges and how many women feel unable to speak openly about them. A staggering 64% of women reported struggling with their wellbeing, with 87% keeping these difficulties hidden.
The message is simple but powerful: silence does not protect us. It isolates us.
And in professional settings, isolation has consequences.
What Often Goes Unseen
Menopause is frequently discussed in terms of physical symptoms. But the psychological and cognitive effects can be just as disruptive, particularly in high-performance roles.
The recent position statement from the Royal College of Psychiatrists emphasises that hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can significantly affect mood, anxiety levels and cognitive functioning. For some women, this may mean new episodes of depression or heightened anxiety. For others, it is subtler but still destabilising - a sense that their sharpness or stamina has shifted. They simply don’t feel like themselves any more.
For a woman in a high-pressure professional role, this can feel frightening.
Many of the women I work with describe a private narrative that sounds like this:
“Why am I suddenly doubting myself?”
“I’ve always coped before.”
“Is this how decline begins?”
This is where a genuinely understanding and supportive professional environment can make all the difference.
The Professional Risk of Staying Silent
Menopause typically coincides with the stage of career where women have managerial roles and hold significant responsibility. They are mentoring others, shaping strategy, influencing culture.
Yet this is also the stage at which many begin to feel pressure to prove they are still as capable as ever.
So they compensate. They over-prepare. They work longer hours to counter disrupted sleep. They conceal symptoms for fear of being perceived as less robust.
The cost is cumulative.
When women at the height of their experience begin to question themselves in isolation, organisations lose more than individual confidence - they risk losing women with talent and experience. Some step back from promotion. Some reduce hours. Some quietly leave.
The “stiff upper lip” may appear professional. In reality, it can prevent early, practical adjustments that would allow women to continue thriving.
A More Informed Response
This is not about lowering standards or special treatment. It is about aligning workplace expectations with biological reality.
So what can workplaces do to retain and support women in this position?
An informed response might include:
When menopause is understood rather than minimised, something important happens. Shame reduces. Self-trust returns. Conversations become pragmatic rather than defensive.
Most women do not want exemption from responsibility. They want understanding, and where necessary, reasonable adjustment, so they can continue contributing at the level they have worked hard to reach.
Why This Matters Now
The conversation around menopause is gaining momentum, medically, socially and politically. But cultural change within high-pressure professions often lags.
If we want to retain experienced women in law and other demanding professions, we cannot afford to treat menopause as a private inconvenience to be managed alone.
Midlife can be a period of profound professional depth - clearer boundaries, stronger judgment, greater perspective. With appropriate support, it is not a phase of decline but of consolidation.
The question is whether workplaces create conditions that allow that strength to emerge.
Moving Beyond Silence
At TCC, we work with individuals and organisations across the legal and professional sectors, supporting psychological resilience, leadership development and wellbeing through complex transitions, including menopause.
This work is about informed conversation, therapeutic support, and coaching that helps professionals navigate change without sacrificing their identity or ambition.
Menopause should not quietly narrow a woman’s professional world.
I feel very fortunate to be working within TCC with a group of people who are truly understanding, open and respectful of each other’s needs. And as someone who has experienced first-hand some of the challenges of menopause, I value the opportunity to work therapeutically with women struggling with this stage of life.
With the right awareness and support, it can sit alongside continued competence, authority and impact.
Written by Helen Shaw, Psychotherapist - TCC
