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Staying Sane in Family Law

A Survival Guide for Lawyers Working in the Most Emotionally Charged Practice Area

Our founder, Annmarie’s debut book, Staying Sane in Family Law, is out now! Click here to buy the book. It’s a deeply practical and refreshingly honest guide for anyone in the family law world on how to navigate the emotional intensity of practice (with a big dollop of humour!). Family law asks a lot of lawyers - compassion, clarity, resilience, emotional control, and mental stamina. Burnout, vicarious trauma and overwhelm are often part of the job. This book helps you stay steady, human, and effective in the middle of it all. Inside, she shares:

  • Tools to protect your mental health
  • Strategies for building emotional resilience
  • Ways to keep boundaries with difficult or distressed clients
  • Real-world stories from the frontline (Annmarie's included)

Whether you’re just starting out or have decades of experience, this book will help you not just survive, but thrive in family law.


Click here to buy the book - Buy the book

Listen to Annmarie talk on the Today's Family Law Podcast about her book "Staying Sane In Family Law" - listen here

Burnout in Legal Professions
8 min read

The Workplace Culture of Burnout in Law Firms

Burnout in law firms is driven by workplace culture, not personal weakness. It's about how norms around perfectionism, competition, and silence sustain chronic stress.

Two women have a private chat
In this article

We all know what it’s like: that invisible pressure to show up, stay late, add to your plate, compete, perform, put life aside. Workplace culture in legal jobs is well-known and not particularly well-liked. It’s this always-on, high-functioning stereotype that sits at the core of occupational burnout, and why it’s so prevalent in legal professionals.

No matter which way you look at it, burnout is, unfortunately, an accepted reality of working in the legal field. People enter the profession expecting a level of stress. Over time, what was considered a manageable sacrifice turns out to be an unsustainable lifestyle. Burnout is a toxic element of workplace culture for lawyers and legal professionals. Let’s break down exactly what that means here.

Burnout as a Cultural Outcome, Not an Individual Failure

I think that there are multiple types of workaholics. The first are those that are just super type A, law was always their dream, and they get immense pleasure out of being a lawyer (whether that is the prestige, or just the sense of accomplishment of being the “best” at something). I think it’s the same sort of people that are high powered CEOs that could have retired 20 years ago, they really just get satisfaction from the work. In my opinion, these types range the gambit from being psychopaths to genuinely nice people that just have a passion.

The second type are those that use work to escape from another part of their lives. I see this all the time. They are the most miserable people you will meet in the profession. They are on their second or third marriage, and they think that working hard will solve the issues they have with their friend and family relationships. Just a bit more money and we can get that amazing second house in the Hamptons. Then my wife will love me! Of course it never works like that.

- LouisLittEsquire, Reddit

You forgot the type that are in panic mode because they keep getting assigned too much work and can’t say no to new work.

- [User Redacted], Reddit

Burnout in law firms is often framed as an issue of personal resilience, but the reality is far more systemic. It is not simply the result of heavy workloads or demanding cases; it emerges from the cultural norms that govern how lawyers are expected to think, behave, and perform. In many firms, culture functions as an unspoken “operating system” that dictates what is rewarded, what is tolerated, and what is silently discouraged. Long hours, emotional suppression, constant availability, and a relentless drive for perfection become embedded expectations rather than exceptional pressures. Over time, these norms shape the way individuals see themselves and their value within the organisation.

This means burnout is less about individual weakness and more about the cumulative effect of cultural forces that make rest, openness, and boundaries difficult to uphold. Environments with poor psychological safety or hypercompetitive norms consistently produce higher levels of stress and emotional fatigue.

Toxic workplaces have been well-documented to cause burnout in employees, especially those who carry heavier responsibilities, such as client or patient health or safety. A cross-sectional study surveyed health system employees in both patient-facing and non-patient-facing roles, using a 57-question Likert scale to assess perceptions of organisational culture and experiences of burnout. The analysis found that perceiving organisational culture as positive, safety-oriented, and supportive strongly predicted lower burnout symptoms. Decision tree and Bayesian models reinforced that a positive organisational culture is associated with reduced burnout and higher engagement, while negative or bureaucratic cultures increase burnout risk.

Recognising burnout as a cultural phenomenon shifts responsibility from the individual to the wider system, making change possible only when firms examine and update the norms that underpin everyday working life.

Unspoken Rules That Shape Lawyer Behaviour

1# The Culture of Perfectionism as a Social Norm

Perfectionism is often described as a professional virtue in law, but in practice it usually functions as a cultural expectation rather than a personal preference. While “healthy striving” can drive good-quality work, the version of perfectionism commonly modelled in firms is far more rigid.

Senior lawyers are often known to demonstrate an intolerance for mistakes, even minor ones, creating an atmosphere where trainees quickly learn that errors are not simply discouraged but treated as a threat to their credibility. This standard becomes internalised before qualification and persists through partnership in shaping how lawyers evaluate themselves and their peers.

Over time, perfectionism shifts from being about producing excellent work to being about avoiding scrutiny. In many firms, those who overprepare, overcheck, and overextend themselves are praised, while those who work efficiently or set boundaries risk being seen as less committed. Because perfectionism is rewarded, it rarely comes under review, despite the strain it places on mental health and confidence. It reinforces a fear of fallibility that fuels chronic stress and makes professional growth harder, not easier.

2# Competition as a Default Setting

Competition is not incidental in law firms. Rather it is built into the system. Performance ratings, billable hours recorded, and partnership selection processes create continuous comparisons between colleagues. These structures may aim to reward excellence, but they often produce anxiety, secrecy, and behaviour driven by status.

Also, when individuals’ value is tied to measurable output, collaboration can feel risky, and information-sharing becomes selective.

Internal competition also contributes to siloing. Lawyers may protect work and resist delegation, or avoid admitting when they need support because doing so might undermine their perceived standing. The result is a working environment where people believe they must outperform colleagues rather than learn alongside them. This culture encourages excessive working hours and self-sacrifice as means of signalling superiority.

3# The Absence of Psychological Safety

Psychological safety is the freedom to express uncertainty, ask questions, or raise concerns without fear of negative consequences. In many legal workplaces, this is largely absent. Lawyers worry that showing vulnerability will affect their reputation, so they mask difficulties and avoid discussing doubt or overload. This silence becomes self-reinforcing: because few people speak openly, it appears that everyone else is coping just fine. This is even more dangerous, considering the vicarious trauma lawyers deal with that can go under the radar and do more damage to mental health.

As therapists from legal backgrounds, our work with lawyers repeatedly highlights to us how hesitant many feel about seeking help due to fear of judgment or professional repercussions. Even when firms promote wellbeing, the lived culture may continue to signal that strength equals self-sufficiency. The result is a workforce that learns to manage distress on its own until problems escalate.

Everyday Behaviours that Reinforce Burnout Culture

It’s the small, repeated behaviours that have a significant cumulative impact on wellbeing. These patterns go unnoticed day after day, and are rarely challenged because they have become embedded in the profession’s identity. Below we’ve listed some of the most common behaviours that sustain a burnout-prone environment.

The Normalisation of Overextension

BehaviourHow You Notice It in YourselfHow You Notice It in OthersWhat’s Actually Going On (Burnout Mechanism)
Saying yes to everythingAgreeing to extra work even when overwhelmed; difficulty pushing back.Colleagues taking on unrealistic workloads without objection.Fear of appearing incapable; internalised message that value equals output.
Wearing busyness as a badgeTalking about how busy you are as a way to signal commitment.Team members discussing who is “more stretched.”Busyness becomes a measure of worth; exhaustion normalised.
Working through breaks and lunchFeeling unable to stop, even briefly.Others eating at their desks, never pausing.Constant activation of stress response; inability to down-regulate.
Staying online long after hoursWaiting to log off until partners do; checking emails late at night.Late timestamps on emails from juniors or peers.Belief that visibility equals safety; fear of being judged for resting.

The Myth of the Resilient Lawyer

BehaviourHow You Notice It in YourselfHow You Notice It in OthersWhat’s Actually Going On (Burnout Mechanism)
Minimising your own distressTelling yourself “I’m fine” despite physical or emotional fatigue.Colleagues brushing off clear signs of strain.Learned suppression of emotional needs; stigma around vulnerability.
Equating resilience with silenceNot mentioning workload issues or personal strain even when asked.Others never raising concerns, even in safe spaces.Internalised belief that a “good lawyer” absorbs pressure without complaint.
Believing the job cannot changeThinking “this is just what the job is” whenever pressure increases.Teams accepting unreasonable norms as fixed.Learned helplessness; burnout framed as an inevitable part of professional identity.
Avoiding help until crisis pointSeeking support only when symptoms become unmanageable.Colleagues disappearing suddenly or taking emergency leave.Cultural reinforcement that only severe distress justifies intervention.

Email, Visibility, and Performative Productivity

BehaviourHow You Notice It in YourselfHow You Notice It in OthersWhat’s Actually Going On (Burnout Mechanism)
Sending out-of-hours emails to signal commitmentWriting emails late at night to show engagement rather than need.Team members routinely emailing at 11pm or later.Performative availability; anxiety about being perceived as less dedicated.
Responding instantly, even when unnecessaryFeeling pressure to reply immediately, regardless of context.Colleagues replying within minutes at all hours.Hypervigilance; inability to switch off; reward structures tied to responsiveness.
Keeping yourself visibly “online”Staying active on Teams/Slack to show presence; delaying log-off.Others remaining online long after the day ends.Fear of invisibility; associating worth with constant presence.
Leaders modelling unhealthy patternsMirroring partner behaviour without questioning it.Senior lawyers emailing at midnight, setting the tone for teams.Power dynamics reinforcing burnout norms; lack of boundary modelling.

Cultural Silence and Its Consequences

It’s the failure to speak up, act, and set standards in the workplace that allows burnout culture to worsen. But doing this is easier said than done.

Senior lawyers often lack the time or training to provide the kind of supportive supervision their teams require, a pattern reflected in TCC’s extensive work with firms seeking stronger reflective and supervisory structures. Without consistent guidance, junior lawyers are left to interpret expectations alone, often assuming that struggle is something to be managed privately rather than addressed openly. This isolation is intensified by competitive systems that reward individual performance over collaboration, gradually weakening team cohesion and reducing opportunities for shared learning.

Evidence reinforces the risks of this dynamic. A 2025 meta-analysis found a strong association between employee silence and burnout, with silence more predictive of burnout than simply lacking opportunities to speak. The authors emphasised that reducing silence, not just encouraging voice, is crucial, as silence is often rooted in organisational culture and emotional exhaustion. Research from healthcare and other high-stakes professions similarly shows that when cultures discourage open conversation, problems are concealed, early warning signs are missed, and distress escalates. Fear of blame, stigma, and status barriers reinforces this silence, even when support is available.

Reviews of workplace culture, such as this one on predictive modelling of burnout and this one on how to prevent and combat employee burnout, highlight unsupportive leadership, poor social support, and excessive demands as key drivers of burnout, while supportive cultures (those fostering open communication and early intervention) significantly reduce risk. In environments where people cannot speak openly, issues rarely surface until they have become acute.

Culture Change as a Burnout Prevention Tool

Preventing burnout in law firms requires more than policy adjustments; it depends on reshaping cultural norms. Something needs to change at the very core of the legal industry. One of the most effective levers is leadership behaviour. When senior lawyers openly acknowledge challenges, set realistic boundaries, and discuss pressure without fear of judgment, they reset expectations for the rest of the organisation. This models a healthier standard of professionalism and signals that vulnerability is compatible with competence.

Changing the cultural meaning of “good lawyering” is equally important. When excellence is defined by thoughtfulness, judgement, and ethical practice rather than hours worked or constant availability, lawyers are more able to regulate their workload and prioritise quality over performance signalling. This reframing reduces the incentives that currently drive overextension and competition.

Introducing structured support mechanisms is another part of cultural change. Reflective practice, professional supervision, and psychologically safe discussion spaces help teams process their experiences, learn collectively, and identify emerging issues early.

For organisations seeking to make this shift, specialist support can be essential. TCC’s deep understanding of legal culture and its pressures makes it a trusted partner in helping firms build healthier, more sustainable ways of working.

These approaches align with our longstanding expertise in supporting lawyers through supervision, therapeutic support, and training designed specifically for high-pressure legal environments. Get in touch with us to find out how to start making positive change.

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